Do Something: Start the Hard Conversations Before Crisis Hits

Compounding Change Mini-Series • Episode 1

By Shannon Davis with Jenna Stoliker

When we picture retirement, most of us see the highlight reel: beach chairs, road trips, grandbaby hugs, maybe that long-delayed national park swing. What we don’t picture are the uncomfortable, paperwork-heavy, emotionally loaded parts: Medicare decisions, powers of attorney, wills, long‑term care, or talking with our kids about what happens if we can’t speak for ourselves. And yet, those are the conversations that spare our families confusion, conflict, and regret.

That’s why my sister, leadership coach Jenna Stoliker, and I launched our new Compounding Change mini‑series: Do Something. Over the next few episodes we’re taking on the “I’ll deal with that later” topics that pile up in the background of real life, such as, finances, family roles, care decisions, benefits, identity, aging, and grief. We’re not here to lecture. We’re here to help you move. One doable step at a time.

“When you feel overwhelmed, take the next step.”  - Jenna

Difficult conversations

Why We Avoid This Stuff (And Why We Can’t)

Let’s name it: these conversations are uncomfortable. They surface our own mortality, family history, money fears, sibling dynamics, and unfinished emotional business. Many people wait until a health event forces their hand, and by then, options may be limited.

“By the time we’re ready to talk about these things, it might already be too late to take meaningful action.”  - Shannon

Avoidance is human. Life is busy. Paperwork is confusing. And big systems like Social Security and Medicare can feel like alphabet soup. But avoidance doesn’t protect us; it quietly transfers stress to the people we love.

A Real‑Life Wake‑Up Call: Karin’s Story

About a year and a half ago my husband Jeff and I got the call no family wants. His mom’s husband, Randy, was sick and suddenly couldn’t care for Jeff’s mom, Karin, who lived with Alzheimer’s. We live 2,000 miles away. Within hours we learned both of them were in the hospital. No local caregiver. No plan for what next.

Karin had a will and powers of attorney, that was the good news, but they were outdated. She didn’t have a current driver’s license or valid ID, which complicated everything from travel to medical coordination. And the one wish she’d voiced for years - “Don’t ever put me in a home.” This weighed heavy as we scrambled to figure out what caring for her actually meant in real time.

Friends tried to help: Move her. Bring her here. Just put her in assisted living. But unless you’ve walked through Alzheimer’s across state lines with no ID (for travel), you don’t realize how complex (and emotional) every decision becomes.

“Everyone wants to give advice… but it’s not that simple.” - Shannon

What Crisis Does to Your Brain

When life blows up, we tend to shift into task mode: flights, forms, meds, calls, logistics. Necessary? Absolutely. But there’s a cost. Under acute stress, the brain’s decision‑making center (your prefrontal cortex) can downshift while emotional survival systems take the wheel. Fog. Irritability. Short fuse. Forgetfulness. Sound familiar?

“In crisis, our prefrontal cortex shuts down. The emotional centers take over.” - Jenna

“Thank God—I thought it was menopause.”  - Shannon

Naming what’s happening in your nervous system is powerful. When you understand that overload is normal, you can add structure to support better choices: write things down, slow the conversation, confirm instructions, and bring in help.

From Overwhelm to Action: Break It Down

Our commitment in this series is to translate the big, messy topics into bite‑sized moves. Not a 47‑item checklist. Just the next action.

Here’s how we’ll do it over the series:

• Conversations that count: How to ask your parents—or adult kids—what matters if health declines.

• Documents that protect: Powers of attorney, wills, healthcare directives—what they do (and don’t) do.

• Systems that confuse: Medicare basics, where long‑term care fits (or doesn’t), Social Security timing.

• Emotions you can’t ignore: Guilt, role‑reversal, sibling tension, anticipatory grief.

• Financial guardrails: Saving early, preparing for the unexpected, and why “I’ll just work longer” isn’t a plan.

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We’ll share real stories (including our own), plain‑language explanations, and repeat the important parts, because hearing something three different ways is sometimes what it takes to make it stick.

“I repeat things to clients all the time - sometimes we just need to hear it a different way.” -Shannon

Today’s Do Something Challenge

Take one small, courageous step this week. Reach out to a parent, elder, or loved one and ask:

“If there’s ever a time when you can’t speak for yourself, what would you want me to know?”

That’s it. No legal seminar. No spreadsheet. Just ask. Then listen.

Want to stretch? Write down what they say—on paper, in a note on your phone, or in a shared family document. When emotions run high later, your written notes become a compass.

“Your brain won’t always be in decision‑making mode. But your notes will remind you what they wanted you to know.”  - Jenna

When you’ve taken your step, tell us! Use #CompoundingChangeChallenge and tag us. Your action might be the nudge someone else needs to start their own conversation.

Coming Up Next…

In our next Do Something episode we’ll untangle a trio that trips up almost everyone: Social Security, Medicare, and long‑term care. What’s covered, what’s not, and where the gaps hide. We’ll give you the practical “nuggets” you can act on right away.

“It’s doable, even if it feels overwhelming. You just need the right nuggets.”  - Jenna

You’re Doing Better Than You Think

If you’ve listened, read this far, or had even the thought of raising a hard topic; you’re already in motion. And motion matters. That’s the heart of Compounding Change: small, consistent steps that add up over time.

“Every small step adds up, so keep showing up and keep moving forward. You’re doing better than you think and the progress you’re making matters.”  - Shannon

Stay Connected

Podcast: Compounding Change

Mini-Series: Do Something

Tag your progress: #CompoundingChangeChallenge

Website: daviscompoundingchange.com

Work with Shannon: Financial planning for firefighters, public safety professionals & families

Work with Jenna: Leadership & change coaching at the Center for Conscious Leadership