From Dreams to Reality: What I Wish I Knew About Adoption and Finances

I’ve always loved getting lost in books. As a kid, I read about families, love, and life on farms, and I imagined myself one day living in the country, raising a house full of kids.

Well, life has a way of changing the picture. But that deep desire for family? That never went away.

My beautiful babies

I was raised in a home where generosity was second nature. My parents didn’t just talk about helping others, they lived it. One of the most impactful experiences of my childhood was when we opened our home to two boys from Vietnam in the 1980s. They were older than my sister and me, but they needed a safe place. And that experience, sharing our home and our hearts, shaped how I saw family from a young age.

In my 20s, while navigating the challenges of infertility, I found joy in caring for other people’s children. I worked as a nanny and eventually opened an in-home daycare, not only as a way to earn income, but also to stay close to the dream I held so tightly: becoming a mom. Adoption was always on my heart. It wasn’t just a backup plan; it was part of the vision.

Fast forward to today, and I have three “children” I couldn’t be more proud of. Two were gifted to me through adoption, beautiful, grown young adults now who changed my life the moment they entered it. And through my second marriage, I gained a second daughter, my stepdaughter, who brings her own light into our lives. I am beyond grateful for the unique way each of them became mine.

I often say these kids were made for me. That doesn’t mean the journey was easy. The process of adoption, emotionally and financially, can be overwhelming. From infertility treatments to stacks of paperwork, background checks, interviews, and waiting... it’s a lot. But if anything, the struggle deepened my gratitude.

To be honest, part of what made it harder was that I didn’t know what kind of financial help was available. Now that I work in the financial world, I wish I’d known more back then - and I want others to be better prepared than I was.

So, if you’re considering adoption (or supporting someone who is), here are a few important financial tools to know about:

Financial Resources for Adoption (What I Wish I Knew)

Federal Adoption Tax Credit

Families may be eligible for a credit on their taxes to help cover qualified adoption expenses. The maximum credit increases each year, and while it’s not refundable (meaning it only reduces what you owe), it can still make a big difference over time.

State-Level Tax Benefits

Depending on where you live, your state may offer additional tax credits or deductions for adoption. Some are refundable; others are not. Each state is different, so it’s worth asking your tax advisor or checking your state’s department of taxation.

Adoption Assistance for Special Needs or Foster Care Adoptions

Many children adopted from foster care or those considered to have special needs - may qualify for monthly support, healthcare coverage, and sometimes even college tuition assistance. These programs are often underused because they’re not well understood.

Adoption Loans & Grants

There are organizations, including some credit unions and nonprofits, that offer low-interest loans or grants for families in the adoption process. Each program has its own criteria, but they can provide valuable support to bridge the gap.

Employer Benefits

Some companies provide paid leave, reimburse expenses, or offer other adoption-related support. It's worth checking with your HR department or visiting the Dave Thomas Foundation’s list of adoption-friendly workplaces, to see what’s available.

Military Family Support

Military personnel may qualify for reimbursement of certain adoption expenses, up to a capped amount per child per year. It’s one of several ways our service members are supported in building their families.

Building a family isn’t always a straight line. But every child deserves to be deeply loved, and every parent deserves to feel supported in the process.

“Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.” —Oprah Winfrey

No matter how you build your family - through birth, adoption, marriage, or any beautiful combination - what matters most is the love you pour into it.

If you’re on this journey, or just beginning to think about it, I see you. And if I can be a resource along the way, I’m here.

-       Shannon 💛

Financial information summarized and adapted from the National Council for Adoption: https://adoptioncouncil.org/article/adoption-financial-resources